What To Be or Not to Be

I've been an librarian for 10 years now. That's the longest I've done any one thing in my entire life besides breathe. I know that I'll never be on the Librarian All-Star Team or make the Librarian Hall of Fame. I seriously doubt I'll leave any mark whatsoever on the profession. Librarianship just doesn't move me, there is no fire in my belly for what I do. When the work day ends, you won't find me reading, writing, talking or even thinking about anything library-related. I believe I have the best job in the profession, but even then I'm just not into being a librarian. I mean, being cooped up inside all day, smothered by air conditioning, facing a godless computer (well, Google is sort of like a kind and benevolent God), and helping people? Ugh. Add to that the fact that I lack THE librarian requirement: a love of reading. No, librarianship is just not what I saw myself doing.

Forest Fire Fighter: A life-long fascination with and appreciation of fire led me to believe I could spend my life fighting it. I'd get to be outdoors, work hard and live life on the edge. I was smart enough, however, to realize that seasonal work has limited benefits. Besides, the legally blind shouldn't be allowed to fight fires. Can you imagine my fate if I'd lost a contact lens? Reason won out on that one.

Pool Player: I'd have dropped out of college and hit the pool circuit had I been good enough. I just love to play pool. Who knows, maybe with time and practice my game could've had tournament potential. There was one major obstacle to my pool hall dreams, though: beer. I drank beer better than I shot pool and since the two go hand-in-hand in my world, you can see why I didn't get very far in that endeavor.

Flower Shop Owner: I like flowers. I imagined "Thad's Flower Shoppe" somewhere in NYC. Turns out the entrepreneurial spirit is not strong in this soul. Other small business ideas included Thad's Maple Syrup (patent still pending) and a fleet of garbage trucks.

Religious Studies Professor: This was doomed from the start, but it was strong enough of an idea to move me from OR to TX. I am not a leader of men nor am I a molder of minds. It's important to know who you are.

Journalist: It's why I went to college to begin with, and yet I never took a single journalism class. Piss poor advising and misplaced principle on my part (I blamed the media for Gary Hart's political fall) led me to the English department. Maybe I, too, could've been an loud-mouthed ignoramous hosting a talk show on Fox, CNN, or MSNBC. That's the state of "journalism" these days.

Veterinarian: Looking back on missed callings, this is the one that hurts the most. Early on, I was inspired by James Herriot's books. I even kept a little notebook of diseases that I came across in his stories that I then researched in Collier's Encyclopedia in the event I was ever called upon to diagnose hoof-and-mouth disease amongst all those bovines roaming suburban Aurora. But I lacked (and still lack) the mental acuity and discipline to pursue anything scientific or medical. I ended up in the humanities, which naturally led me to many years in food service and, ultimately, to libraries. Librarianship is a far cry from the good I could've done.

Lament as I might my ultimate choice of professions, I have no regrets. Had I taken any other path than that which I took, I wouldn't have the life I have now, and I have a pretty good life. I'll probably retire as a librarian and shelve books on a volunteer basis well into my golden years. Eh, so be it.

Then again, maybe someday you'll find Thad's Maple Syrup sitting next to Mrs. Butterworth's and Log Cabin. Organized by bar code, of course.